Baloo waited. He waited until we celebrated our 9th anniversary. Yesterday, the very next morning, he had a seizure at around 6:00 as he was waking up and died, so my best buddy has gone over the rainbow bridge and I am completely shattered and bereft.
I am also so very grateful. Grateful that he didn't suffer, grateful that he got to be at home and I got to be with him, and incredibly grateful that I had nine wonderful years with this amazing creature who taught me so much about love and joy and loyalty and grace.
Many of you know that Baloo came to me because the rescue group I fostered for needed a home for him immediately. He was next in line to be euthanized and, though I'd been taking a short break after six fairly intense fosters in quick succession, Baloo only had 15 minutes to live because the shelter they found him in thought he was a hopeless case. He had an advanced case of heart-worms and was 20 pounds underweight. (In the picture above you can see that toys tended to collect at the kitchen door, where he brought them as meal tickets. He looked forward and counted the minutes to every meal! His internal clock was flawless.)
Baloo came to live with me and he was so gentle and stoic through all the terrible, continually life-threatening medical stuff. By the time we were through all that and he was back on his feet, I had fallen in love and we were thoroughly bonded. I couldn't let him go - he became my foster failure and, really, my first dog. (The picture above is of him enjoying blissful belly rubs at nap time.)
What you may not know is that Baloo, in keeping with his strong, silent type character, has been the mostly silent partner in this blog. While he rarely appeared in person, he's frequently been mentioned as the one who discovered something I shared in pictures and stories. In fact, there are still quite a few blog posts ahead in which he will continue to have a contributing paw - or nose. (The picture above has him transfixed by a chipmunk that has no clue how much danger lurks behind those golden eyes.)
While the going sometimes got a little rough, he was always ready for an adventure and he loved his walkies, no matter the weather - really deep snow wasn't his favorite, but he still wanted to go. He asked me take him for rambles three or four (and even five) times every day, which usually ended with a sunset walk, watching the evening come down together.
Baloo loved looking for anything interesting to sniff (and when there was contraband in the offing, eat) - he loved going through the grounds of a nearby restaurant, hoping someone had dropped a valuable morsel on the ground for him to devour.
Scouting the woods for scurrying chipmunks and, of course, dead-things was another favorite pastime. He wandered just a bit, but always kept me in sight. If his attention was distracted, I would sometimes step behind a tree to play hide and seek with him. As soon as he realized he couldn't see me, he came running to track me down.
When coming to a crossroads or fork in a trail, he'd look back at me and wait to determine which direction we were going to go. I'd often let him choose until we had to turn for home (and he'd sometimes huff at me because he didn't want to cut the adventure short and would rather go a different way).
Now, once again, Baloo has wandered out ahead of me, blazing a trail.
I hope he's surrounded by beautiful fields and woods with teasing chipmunks to chase and treats galore.
I told him many times daily, "I love you forever." And I do.
This oversized dog house feels too quiet, empty and hollow now. Baloo and I had a sweet rhythm to each day and I am feeling really out of sync without his little routines to guide me. It's going to take a while to find a different heartbeat to life's song.
Though Baloo has been veiled from my sight, my job now is to live the rest of my life in a manner worthy to be greeted by his great spirit when it's time for me to join him on the other side of that rainbow - he always was so very good at waiting for me when I lagged behind. And he always brought out the very best in me.
Best Dog Ever! I love you forever.
17 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about Baloo.
I was fun to travel vicariously with the two of you during all of your adventures.
I'm so sorry for your loss! You included Baloo in your blog often enough that he was not a "silent" partner. Through your love for him, and through your words, Baloo was always an "active" partner on the blog. He will be missed. I hope the precious memories you made together through the years will comfort you during this difficult time. *Hugs*
So sorry to hear about your great loss. Baloo certainly was a very special dog. You have written eloquently about him. Hang onto those memories...they will be a comfort. Queen Mother
So so sorry for your loss of Baloo, and your heart break. Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts and story with us. Buttercup60//AQ
I know the grief of losing a beloved dog far too well, and I’m so sorry. As I’ve been told, the only way it can hurt your heart so much, is because your time with them was so wonderful. In time, those memories will overtake the current sadness. I’m so sorry.
I’m so sad to read your news. May you find comfort in the days ahead. Hugs! —MichKathy
Oh, no! I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who has lost 2 beloved dogs in the last 6 months, I understand your grief all too well. May the wonderful memories of Baloo get you through this difficult time.
Thinking of you,
Amy
I am so very sorry. Our little dog Kendall passed two weeks ago. I still glance at her bed to see if she's there when I walk by.
She was also a foster failure. We had fostered her for seven months and our son kept bringing out his piggy bank and asking how much her adoption fee was. We decided that she was part of the family and if someone wanted to adopt her we would be devastated. We had fostered over 20 dogs and she was the first failure.
Anyway, I feel so sad for you. You and Baloo were both so fortunate to have had each other.
My heart breaks with yours. When we have a gentle loving spirit living with us, it leaves a hell of a hole when it moves forward, leaving us behind to mourn. Lots of love.
Sounds like he had a good life with you. Can't ask for more than that. It is not good bye but, til you meet again.
😢😢😢
I am so glad to have been a part of this gentle giants life. You could always see it in his eyes as they met yours that he was a happy and kind soul. It was always a pleasure to have him for a neighbor!
So very sorry for the loss of your constant companion. I too know how you're feeling and only time will help. You always will have your memories of Baloo and they will bring a smile when you least expect it.
I'm so sorry that you lost your best friend and companion. I know too well your feelings. You gave him a wonderful and fulfilling life and he gave you the same while he was here on earth. Never goodbye; he'll be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge.
So very sorry for your loss, I have enjoyed reading of your adventures together and this final
post was a wonderful tribute to read even through a tear or two. Hugs!
Shooz
Many thanks to everyone who sent along good thoughts, words of comfort and encouragement. It's nice to know that you understand the loss and I can tell I'm in good company with people who get it. One of these days, sweet thoughts of Baloo will bring more smiles and fewer tears. You're the best!!
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